Buffy's Diary 1999-2000

Dear Diary

First day of classes and I get yelled at by a mean teacher. I didn't want to take his class anyway. Kathy snores which is such a treat. A bad day ended on a good note. I met a guy named Eddie. He seems like a nice guy and he's in Psych. Color me embarrassed when I thought he was talking about porn.

My roommate is driving me up the wall with that wretched music. I guess I'll just have to get used to having a roommate. I just wish she had better taste in music. Kathy seems nice but the same crappy CD playing over and over again is really wearing. Also it's not too much fun trying to sneak out to patrol and have Mini Mom of Momdonia turn up when I'm looking for monsters to kill.

This girl is driving me nuts. She flosses in bed which is so gross and she closed the window. I wanted the window open. Does she think we're Siamese twins or something? Who said she could eat lunch with me? She has her name written on the food just because I took some of her milk for my coffee. What is her deal? I wake up to her standing looking at me like a freak. She should really look in a mirror.

I've been spending a lot of time with Parker. He's a really nice guy and he has a reflection which is always a plus. Yaye he asked me to the party tomorrow night at Wolf House. I so need to figure out what I'm going to wear. The upside of Will being a roommate is my having her to give me fashion advice.

Why hasn't he called? I had such a great time at the party even with Spike and Harmony showing up. Now that's a match made in Hell. So Dru left him again and for a Fungus demon no less. I wonder when Parker will call. Maybe he's sick or something. It's just that I felt we made a connection and we made love which means something at least it should. Maybe I'll see him on campus and get a change to talk to him and find out if we could get

That was one hell of a party. The only good thing was the candy at Giles'. I didn't like the whole being stabbed and creatures in the basement attacking me. How strange that Anya ended up being a big help getting Giles. I guess she does care about Xand.

I'm back from the land of evil beer that turned me into a cave girl. That was interesting but I think the best part was bonking Parker on the head. I think it gave me some kind of closure. Sure I saved his life like I did in that dream I kept having. He thanked me and I bonked him on the head again. What a time that must have been with knocking people on the head and the men dragging the women off to their caves by the hair.

Cool I did good on my paper and made Will jealous. I get to lead a discussion group but I don't think that's a very good surprise. I never did get my celebratory cookie. Poor Will is worrying about Oz and that Veruca chick. She's a total slut and besides he's totally in love with Will and he's not the type to cheat. She has nothing to worry about unlike me with my so called reward for academic achievement.

Yikes! Can't anyone have a normal relationship? Oz strayed all right with wolfie Veruca. Poor Will! If only he'd never been bitten then this wouldn't be happening. That really scared me when she nearly got hit by that car. Thank god Riley was there to save her. At least that bitch is taken care of but it was a really close call. My focus will be on helping Will through this with heaping helpings of chocolate. I hate that this happened since they were so solid.

Well so much for the party helping Will. Spike totally ruins my night off. That Riley is a peculiar one. First he could barely speak at the party and later he tries to make me leave when I was waiting for Spike? Who does he think he is trying to get me back to my room? I'm not some helpless girl.

Now where did I put Will's hairbrush? Well if I can't find it I'll just buy her a new one. It's strange but at night I could swear that someone's watching me but I haven't seen anyone. I must be imagining things. People are always around campus so it's nothing to go wiggy over.

Shopping for stuff for dinner is a battle in itself. All that grabbing and pushing. I practically had to use some Slayer's moves to get the last can of pie filling. I'm having the dinner over at Giles'. I cook and he graciously cleans up after in thanks for a delicious meal. I invited Riley but he's off to Iowa and his family. He's a nice guy and I'm so grateful to him for saving Will. He's a nice guy.

I can't believe that Angel didn't tell me he came back. I wouldn't have known if Xander hadn't spilled the beans. So since I'll be going to see my dad I'll pop in for a visit. How bizarre that Cordy is working for him. I know he helped out and I'm glad he did since those spirits were tough.

Lost Entry

Dear Diary

I woke up and Angel wasn't around. He probably went out for more ice cream. Seeing Angel walk out in the daylight was a dream come true. This can work somehow. Maybe he can come back to Sunnydale. He wouldn't be the first civilian to kill demons. Xander is a good example. He isn't too bad so Angel could do the same. He'd have to adjust to being a human but I know this could work. The important thing is that we can be together. Ok he should be back by now. I'm going to see if anyone's upstairs.

That was a quick yet painful visit to see Angel. That was so strange that he knew how to kill that demon by crushing the stone in its forehead. Something doesn't seem quite right but I suppose having time on your hands could lead to some light reading about demons. It was so strange to see him even though it was only a few minutes. I know this is for the best since we can never act on what we want.

Besides in Sunnydale my life isn't going so bad. There's even a guy that has potential a nice normal guy that can go out in daylight. A part of my heart will always love Angel but I have to move on since it can't work. He's not going to wake up one morning with a heartbeat and the only other way would be to turn me into a vampire. Sure Willow could curse me with a soul but things wouldn't be all that different except for the blood thing which would be so gross.

Dear Diary

Riley asked me to go on a picnic. It's nice and new territory for me. He's a way to escape the bad boy cycle. Well when a guy says you're beautiful and is so adorable as to practice what he's going to say is worth a chance. I'm used to the fighting and misery since that sparks the fire so I'm not sure if it could be so intense with a nice guy.

It is nice to be able to go out in the daylight instead of hanging in the cemetery with my guy. He does have nice arms so I'm going to take a chance. He is so the opposite of Stinky Parker. I even heard that Riley punched him in the nose which is so sweet. I wish I thought of that but on the upside I did hit him with that branch.

Dear Diary

I can't believe that I was engaged to Spike of all people or rather creatures. I did smooth things over with Riley with my cleverness. I'm finally over the bad boy thing so that is the upside of this mess. I can't believe I kissed Spike. I feel like I should disinfect them. Everything has settled back to normal and Will is working off her guilt.

She is forgiven but I still want to see if there is a spell to make me forget. But forgetting may lead me to a bad guy and the badness that follows. Riley is so totally the opposite. I really like him and it's nice to have a normal guy that overcame his shyness to talk to me. It was so cute that he asked Will for advice. Not the best time to do so but it was sweet. That has to be why he asked me if Will told me that he liked cheese. She said I liked cheese so there's a common bond. Bound together in cheese. That sounds a lot different from what I meant not to mention a bit dirty. I'm just glad that things didn't go beyond kissing. Eeewww! Now that would have been scary.

Dear Diary

That was obviously the best class ever what with me sleeping through it. At least I didn't snore and went unnoticed by Walsh. Still no smooching with Riley. I hate having to lie to him. I just want to tell him so I don't have to come up with excuses. Petroleum was really good. I'm just glad that he let it fly without a grill session. I like him and he likes me so we should do some smooching but I end up babbling. So Will's witchy group isn't working out like she hoped which is too bad. I think it's helped out some since she is doing much better wanting her vicarious smoochies. That's a good sign I think. I wonder if Giles will find out anything about that song I heard in my dream. It could mean something and it'll give Giles something to do. It can't be fun having Spike as his roomie. I can't imagine them hanging out on the couch with his blood and Giles with a brandy chatting or watching TV.

Dear Diary

So me and Riley finally kissed. It only took the whole town going mute to accomplish it. I didn't want to leave him but I had to do the patrol thing. So many idiots out there and of the human variety which I suppose is a nice change of page. Poor Xand having to Spike sit.

I hope Giles figures out what's happening soon. It would be nice to hear Riley's voice or any voice for that matter. So much for silence being golden. The lack of voices just makes everything that much louder. Actually it would be nice if some people just stayed mute. Spike does come to mind.

Dear Diary

Well my secret's out and it looks like I'm not the only one. He certainly came in handy when I was fighting those creepy gentlemen. I can't believe Giles drew me so big. I'm not huge like that. Why not draw stick figures. So Riley's one of the commandos. That was so gross when the heads exploded. Eww so don't want to be the one cleaning that up. We talked but it was a bit awkward at first.

It's so strange that he never even heard of the Slayer since we are sort of in the same line of work except I don't turn vamps into fluffy bunnies. I thought he was this normal guy but no so I'll have to think this through. That earthquake wasn't a good sign at all so I went to see Giles but he told me it was nothing to worry about but I think he's wrong.

Dear Diary

Percy is such a dick. If it weren't for Will that loser wouldn't have made it through High School let alone a cushy scholarship to college. I guess that ass kicking Will's double gave him didn't change him into an actual human. Sure Will is a total brain but she's no nerd. How dare he not realize the wily allure of my Willow. Yikes a dead guy at the party which just shows that it's a Buffy party. Oh I am so vindicated with being right about the world ending. Not that I want the world to end but it's good to be right and for Giles to be wrong since that rarely happens.

I ran into Riley at the cemetery and found out that his codename is Lilac. I can't be involved with Riley even though it hurt like hell to say it. So of course I run into Riley again with a gadget. I have to admit that he's very persistent. The good is that the world didn't end. Well Spike found out that he could hit demons and he even in his own way helped but he threw the demon down the hole.

Now Will and Xand know that Riley's a commando. Riley and his many gadgets. That was a cool thing he had that I got hooked to him so I could bring the demon up. I guess it wouldn't be such a bad thing to give him a shot. I should seize the day and just go for it.

Dear Diary

Things are going well with Riley. This is really nice to have a boyfriend. I wasn't thrilled to be interrupted in the middle of heavy smoochies but it was sweet of the gang to throw me a party. As far as birthdays go this was a good one so maybe the curse has been lifted. Good and birthdays haven't gone hand in hand as of late.

So Riley's going to be taking me to the head of Commando Central. It turns out that Professor Walsh is a big wig in the Initiative. It'll be kind of exciting to see what it's all about. Riley was blown away by the number of vamps I've dusted. We sparred but I think I held back a little. It's nice that he didn't go running off never to be seen again. I didn't mean to kick him across the room.

Dear Diary

Oops I could have sworn Giles knew. So I'll tell him about the bad mojo vibe that Will felt. She was out late since I didn't here her come in. I thought that maybe she met someone but she was in the science lab. I'll be having a nice picnic with Riley. This one will be nice since the last one didn't go off too well since Will was in a blues kind of mood. I can't believe I didn't tell Giles. I guess I've been a bit neglecty lately with the whole wonder of Maggie and the best part which of course is my boyfriend. I love saying that and speaking of Riley and I should be heading out like now.

Dear Diary

Well that gave me quite a scare. I'm just glad that I didn't kill Giles. Good thing that letter opener wasn't made out of real silver. It was so annoying when Riley tried to tell me that I couldn't go with him because Maggie gave that order when he talked to her. Hello this is my town and nobody orders me around especially when it comes to someone I love. Well it was good that Ethan was hauled off although I doubt that he can be rehabilitated. Fat chance that will happen.

From now on I'll make sure that Giles isn't out of the loopy. Yeah Riley is so sweet and really likes me. He wants a rematch in a week. Giles is worried about the Initiative. Since I'm in the loop there it won't hurt to take a peek. I do know that Riley's a good guy so I'll keep my eyes open just in case Giles is right. Ethan isn't the most reliable source since he worships chaos but I guess it's possible for someone evil to be telling the truth.

Dear Diary

So Maggie is impressed with my skills. Riley told me that she was going on and on about me. This is so good right now especially the Riley part. I'm so going to punish him for sneaking that Twinkie. Now what kind of lunch is that? He will have to suffer the wrath of Buffy with major smoochies and other enjoyments. Speaking of which I need to see Riley now. I pinched myself to make sure that this is real. A great guy and still wicked close to that wacky Hellmouth. It will be so exciting to go inside the Initiative headquarters. I'm even getting a security code.

Dear Diary

Now that was a nice change to wake up with the guy actually still in the bed. Riley's not much for asking questions. That's not necessarily a good thing. It's good to ask questions since you learn stuff. So Will pulled an all nighter. I wonder if she's seeing someone. Well it looks like Ethan may be right what with Maggie trying to kill me. That is not a good sign.

Instead of killing demons they do experiments and who knows what. It is such a let down since I really respected and admired Maggie. This just proves that asking questions is a good thing. You just can't blindly go along like a good little boy or girl or soldier. So I guess I asked to many questions.

Dear Diary

Well we are all staying in Xander's basement. We should be safe here till we figure out what's going on. I don't think Riley had anything to do with Maggie offering me up as monster brunch. I'm just confused right now about this whole thing. Riley was supposed to be my boring boyfriend that I could hold hands with and go through a field of daisies.

I really want him to have had anything to do with Maggie's plan but I have to be alert to the possibility. Maybe he just obeys orders without questions which led to my nearly getting killed. It's going to be hard getting to sleep with the snoring and the squeak but I'm tired so hopefully sleep will be quick.

Dear Diary

I hope Riley's ok wherever he is. They just took him and wouldn't let me come along. That Forest is such a dick. Does he understand the concept of love and being worried when that person is hurt? No wonder he was acting so strange with those drugs being pumped into him and his missing his daily dose. That Adam is going to be so hard to beat since he's so strong and smart.

Oh great a monster made of demons parts with a touch of human for that added touch of intelligence. Now that's a recipe for disaster. You kill demons plain and simple. You don't create bigger and badder ones. Well Anya made herself quite clear regarding her feelings for Xand. She really cares about him. Color me stunned but if she makes him happy that's all that matters.

Dear Diary

I'm so glad that Riley's back and on the mend with no brainwashy chips. With him at my side we'll bring down Adam. We have to since this thing is evil in the extreme sense. Now that was disturbing to find that demon all strung up in that tree. I think I'll let Riley sleep a little longer before we head over to Giles'. It is so refreshing to be out of that basement. How does Xander stand it? I guess it's not as bad when you're living solo.

Entry Thirty-seven

Dear Diary

That really sucked big time being stuck in Faith's body. The whole coma thing did nothing to change her homicidal state. I'm just glad that I'm back in my body. Now that was a total nightmare being strapped to a gurney and seeing myself but not me holding my mom's hand. So that gadget must have been a little present from the mayor. I had to take a really long soak in the tub after having that bitch in my body. I can't believe that Riley slept with her. How could he not know it wasn't me? Yes she was in my body but still it kinda hurts but I'll get past it since it wasn't really his fault.

I'm just glad that Will's friend Tara figured out what was going on and made that glowy ball to switch us back. I'm just glad that I was able to escape the Watchers Goon Squad. They aren't too smart those guys. Not to mention a pain in the ass since they were willing to let that guy die even though I had no intention of killing him since I'm sane and me and not Faith even though I was wearing her body at the time which just gives me the wig big time.

Dear Diary

Now that was totally bizarro. The memories are fading of that reality that Jonathan created. In a strange way I think it helped me deal with the whole Riley sitch. Things are looking up in that area. It's not like it was his fault but I'm only human so I felt betrayed on some level even though I guess I wasn't. I'm just glad that everything was changed back to normal.

Just a major lesson that if you mess with stuff that shouldn't be messed with has a price like with that creepy demon that came with that bizarro world. Well Riley was right about feeling taller even I did and I'm short. I'm sure me and Riley will get back on track. It'll just take some time and it's better now.

Dear Diary

Now that was creepy and weird with a dose of extreme pleasure thrown in. Badness came out of such enjoyment. I guess this is one of those times when too much of a good thing is bad. I just couldn't help myself. I was so out of control and it wasn't horrible though it wasn't pleasant for the others. From now on I am going to have a healthy balance between friends time and love time with Riley. Wow we could have been killed just by having too much sex. I guess as ways to go it wouldn't be so awful.

Giles singing at the Expresso Pump? Now that I would have loved to see. Well I really need to work on that essay that's due on Monday. A Slayer's work is never done including homework. Maybe I'll have Riley help me since I could use some input. On second thought maybe that isn't such a good idea. I'm a bit sore still and I'm so glad that I heal fast so any aches should be gone in a day or less. I'm surprised we didn't rub ourselves raw.

Dear Diary

Riley irritated me with the whole bigot bit. Demons are not always bad. I certainly couldn't mention Angel since he was all down on Oz being a werewolf. He's not evil and I thing it's great that he figured out how to stop wolfing out. I put my foot in my mouth when Will told me about her and Tara. It was just a surprise but I'm glad that she told me. I just want her to be happy but unfortunately someone is going to get hurt when she does make up her mind. That's the bad part in sitch's like this. I so don't feel like doing the reading for class. Oh I'll have Will fill me in since she's always ahead on the reading.

Dear Diary

I was a bit harsh with Riley. It's understandable since he wasn't here when this all went down from the start like I was. He now realizes that not everything is black and white. I'm glad that he wanted to help Oz. It looked like they put the poor guy through the wringer. I hope he's ok. It just sucks that someone is going to end up with a broken heart. I made the decision to tell Riley about Angel. I didn't go into graphic detail but I told him. I checked in with Giles and now I'm LA bound since Faith is there. I really owe the girl one.

Dear Diary

That was like a fist to the stomach to see Angel and Faith hugging and all cozy. Not exactly what I was expecting to find. The Goon Squad showed up again and irony of ironies I helped her. I'm still miffed over them trying to kill me. Color me surprised when I saw that she had turned herself in but I certainly didn't enjoy getting a lecture from Angel.

I have every right to be pissed off at this chick and even hate her after all that she's done. Not everyone can change or even want to although she did turn herself in so maybe there is hope for her after all. That really stunned me when Angel hit me. I can't believe he did that.

Dear Diary

I go to LA and get home only to have things go all wrong. First the ex and current boyfriends get into it like total idiots. Well it was nice of Angel to apologize. I was only thinking of my stuff and not his. Of course he wanted to try and save Faith. The fact that she turned herself in may just mean that she wants to change but I'm not holding my breath. Angel must have been reminded of the dark path he traveled so I shouldn't get mad even though I don't have warm and fuzzy feelings towards her.

I can't believe that Xander told Riley about Angel in detail. That didn't help but I think we're ok now. He thought I was leaving him for Angel which won't happen because we can never be together. Sure I'll always love Angel but I love Riley too and I have no plans of leaving him. That was a bad scene at Giles' place. I don't even understand why we all went off on each other really and it was so strange that Giles was drunk. Maybe we just need some time to cool down. I went to see Riley but he wasn't there. We'll eventually have to speak to each other and work things out. I just wish I didn't have to deal with this Adam sitch.

Dear Diary

Now that was intense. The fun never stops here even in our dreams where we all nearly got killed. After a nice shower I was able to sleep. That cheese guy was strange. I don't know what the hell he was doing in my dream. So that was the first Slayer. She's not up with the whole socializing thing or being clean either. I've never really thought about the first one or even any of the others really but she must have had it pretty rough.