2004
Entry One
Dear Diary
I had the strangest dream. It was like I was actually there. It just didn't make much sense to me. A bunch of images flashed in front of me. It was as if I was dangling from the tree for a second. I don't think it was anything I ate. I may be crazy but I think it may have something to do with that blue vase thing I found.
I was having a quick smoke in that old building that isn't used. I think it might have been the kitchen back when the castle was a home. My food hit the board which was loose and I found it inside. I don't know why I took it instead of putting it back. I have no idea what it means.
The strangeness continued. I had just taken a shower and heard whispering. I was alone in the bathroom at the time. I saw this woman's face in the mirror and then it broke. I think she was the same woman from that dream I had. I think she was saying one word like a name or something.
Entry Two
Dear Diary
I was out walking when this huge branch ripped clean off the tree. I must be mad but I think I might have caused it to happen. I saw this man but when I looked back a second later he was gone. I'm not sure why but it has to do with that vase or whatever it is that I found. I wish I knew what was going on.
I touched it and got these flashes. There was that woman tied to a bed screaming. I saw that man again when I touched it again. It was kinda freaking me out so I was actually relieved when Roxanne popped by. It was a distraction from the oddness. She even invited to to watch a movie. This has to be the first conversation we've ever had. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go and take my mind of things for a while.
Entry Three
Dear Diary
I may have had my suspicions before but that cup floating in the air cinched it. I could have imagined it but the mug shattered when Thelma came in. I hate fighting with her but she can drive me nuts. What's wrong with me becoming mates with Roxanne? Thelma will always be my best mate.
I wanted to try something new so I went shopping. So I went to the party and it didn't go well. Maybe Roxanne is just being nice so I'll keep my mouth shut. She took off and things went downhill from there. I actually spoke to Troy but Gemma showed up and she was her usual charming self. What he sees in her I can't imagine.
I just wanted to leave when Leon came over. He was like a leech. I don't know where he got the idea that I wanted him. I want him like a boil on the ass. I hate a guy that just won't take no for an answer. The lights shattered and I just ran. I think the woman I've been seeing is Rachel. Some hand grabbed me and then she appeared again. She kept saying I think Azazeal. Maybe she's warning me about something.
Entry Four
Dear Diary
I went back to the abandoned building and looked behind the wall where it seemed to be a hiding spot. I don't know why but it was like I was drawn to it. On the back of the baseboard was the name Azazeal. I think that's what word Rachel kept saving. I think she's trying to tell me something but exactly what I have no idea. I wish I did. Maybe I'd get a good night's sleep for a change.
I have no idea how I did that with the fire. I was just so angry at that jerk and all that shit he was saying. So before I knew it he was on fire. I guess I wanted that to happen. I think I'm getting better at controlling it. Before it just happened when I was feeling a strong emotion. Did I really do that? I couldn't think of a better candidate for spontaneous human combustion than Leon. I lied because I could exactly tell the truth.
I did ask about Azazeal and I'm wondering if that's the man I've seen around. It's bizarre but it looks like this could be true. I supposed I could be dreaming all this but that would be too easy. My other option is insanity. The pressure just got to me and I totally lost it. I still don't know what all of this means and what it has to do with me. I think I'll go to that part tonight and see if Thelma wants to come along.
Entry Five
Dear Diary
I never should have gone to that bloody party. What was I thinking saying I was going Vegan? I was just having a laugh but I should have known better. I love her but she's my best mate not someone I'm in love with. I feel bad about this. She does have a point since I do flirt with her.
She probably just wants to give me a good scare before she comes through that door. If she doesn't get back soon I'll call the police. I just hope that her being gone doesn't have anything to do with that man I keep seeing. I just have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really want this to be Thelma having payback for last night. I just want her to walk in and have her ask me to do some naked body painting.
Entry Six
Dear Diary
For just a moment when I woke up I thought last night was a nightmare. It didn't seem real. I didn't want it to be real but it was. Any hope of that died when she was carried out of the lake. I can't believe this is really happening. I want to wake up now.
I wish I'd never found that damn thing. It's my fault that she was killed. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I would have let him kill me if Thelma was safe. I may as well have been holding the knife as it went in her. It's been ruled a suicide which is ridiculous. That thing killed her and I don't know what'll happen next.
Entry Seven
Dear Diary
I don't know what to make of this. It was the worst because I was at the funeral of my best mate. I felt like my heart was broken at the thought of never seeing Thelma again. All of a sudden I hear Thelma and there she was standing right next to me. So of course she says something ridiculous about the Reverend being a pussycat in bed.
So Thelma's a ghost so I didn't completely lose her which I'm so grateful for. I was able to not burst out laughing more or less at the funeral. What would people think to see me laughing at a funeral especially when it's my best mate? This is just all so strange but at least I'm not alone. I didn't even really believe in ghosts but I suppose I do nw. Maybe I'm hallucinating all this. No she's over there on her bed listening to music. This is absolutely crazy.
Entry Eight
Dear Diary
How did my life turn into this utter madness? I went out to try to be like a normal person so of course things went weird. That cute guy I accidentally spilled my drink on went starkers. I found him on the floor having like a seizure or something. It's like he became infected or something. He attacked that girl and went after me next. I was able to stop him. Could he be one of them too?
So things are seriously weird. I wish people would just leave me alone. It's just so odd since I have Thelma still just as a ghost. For a change I'd like to walk into a room and not have the room go silent. It certainly isn't helping that Thelma's causing me to have erotic dreams starring her. If one thing won't drive me crazy another will. I just wish he'd leave me alone. Why is he doing this to me? I'd probably totally lose it if I didn't have Thelma around. I just want things to be like they were before.
Entry Nine
Dear Diary
I would love for things to be normal again. It almost felt that way when I was hanging out with Troy. Of course it would have been better if Thelma hadn't turned up. I'm glad she's still around but she can be a pain. That little girl really put in her such a state. I was the one being choked so she had nothing to worry about since she's already dead.
I never want to touch that canaree thing ever again. I don't know why I even keep it around. It's horrible every time I touch it. It's like touching an electric fence and watching a scene from The Shining. It was horrible. I suppose it could have been Nail Girl that was hanging from the tree. She had blonde hair.
Entry Ten
Dear Diary
I still don't know what Azazeal wants from me. It's driving me mad. I hate it when he stares at me so intently. It's like he's trying to see inside me. I'm obviously nothing like him. Do evil demons have souls? I would imagine if he had one it would have been ripped away when he lost his wings. I can't imagine what he'd want with me.
The winged monkeys were at it again. It's amazing that an actual stream of shit doesn't come out of their mouths. Do they think I can't hear them or do they want me to hear them? I try not to let it bother me. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me upset. I already have enough winding up from my stalker. Troy asked me for a drink which surprised me. It's not like I could tell him about the shit my life is right now. So I'm not sure about going out with him.
Entry Eleven
Dear Diary
I went out with Troy and it was fun. Of course Thelma didn't want me to go. She's just being jealous. I suppose it's hard for her being dead and all. It doesn't give her the right to spy on me. Talk about awkward having her spy on me when I was with Troy. I had a really good time with him and things were getting even better when Thelma showed up.
It was impossible to continue with her there. I couldn't exactly tell him about my being haunted by Thelma who wouldn't take a clue. If I wanted a threesome I'd pick someone alive and choose a different location since three in a car is just too crowded. So I set some ground rules. I looked like an idiot.
She could have waited until I got back to the room. I'm a McBain. My father's a McBain. So I'm related to Rachel. Why didn't I know this? I have to talk to Mum about this. She has to have some idea of what's going on. I need to know so I'll go visit her tomorrow. Maybe I'll finally have some answers to this insanity. I can't believe she'd want this to happen to me but I have to wonder considering where I am. This can't be a coincidence.
Entry Twelve
Dear Diary
That's just great it turns out I'm a witch. Mum wasn't very helpful. She knew all along. She sent me to this place on purpose. She wouldn't tell me what's going to happen to me. It looks like Azazeal is the one that drove her mad. I just don't understand why she wouldn't want me to fight this. I don't want to end up like Esther. She's my Mum. She's supposed to protect me not put me into this mess.
I doubt if I could ever get tired of Thelma. It's not easy for either one of us. We just need to stick together. It helps having her around. I'd probably be one foot in to having a room right next to me Mum. It's like I'm having a nightmare I can't wake from. I am curious about my Dad. Where is he? He pays for school but as far as I know I've never laid eyes on him.
Entry Thirteen
Dear Diary
I set things straight with Troy. I really like him and I want control of my life. I had a nice chat with David. He made me think about things. This is my life and I'm gonna live it the way I choose. I don't have to end up like poor Esther. I choose to live my life instead of being a game piece pushed around.
I talked to Thelma about Troy. I have to make my own life. I'm just glad we're cool. I want to have as normal a life as possible. I think it's possible. At least I hope so. Troy makes me happy. He's such a great kisser. I could just snog him for hours. Having a boyfriend is a step in the right direction for having a normal life. I just hope Thelma's really all right with it. She can't have me all to herself even though I know she'd love that.
Entry Fourteen
Dear Diary
I really wish that Thelma would stay out of my dreams. It was enjoyable until she turned up. I wonder if Azazeal is as good a kisser in person. I won't be finding that out any time soon. Troy is being such a stalker. Sure I wouldn't mind another shag just not anytime soon. I have better things to do.
I agreed to meet Azazeal at his new haunt. It must be dreadfully boring the same old thing through the centuries with different women. He thinks he can just crook his finger and I'll be his for the taking. He'll need to try a lot harder and screw that whole destiny bullshit. I do find him intriguing though.
Entry Fifteen
Dear Diary
David should really loosen up. I just know there's a naughty boy just lurking under the surface. A person can't be all stiff and proper all the time. Who knows what dirty thoughts are swimming around in his head. Too bad I can't read minds since that could prove to be quite entertaining.
I just love playing with Troy. Well he's being such a stalker. I need my space. He just doesn't seem to take a hint. When I want him he'll know. He's like a puppy begging for a bone. I punished Troy for being such a bad boy by ignoring him when we were all hanging out. Things were less than satisfying with Leon.
Why in the world would I want to spend the holiday with a vegetable? My Mum will be perfectly fine in the hospital with all the other nutters. I wonder if Jo will go with my suggestion to read her erotic stories. It's kinda boring if there's no action with the women in love.
Entry Sixteen
Dear Diary
When I woke up I found Azazeal watching me. We had a little chat. He has such piercing eyes. That kiss made me want more but he left. I guess he enjoys playing games. Troy was really boring me so I broke things off. He'll get over it. He'll probably come back with Gemma as his girlfriend again. The boy has no idea what he wants.
I am going to continue to see Azazeal no matter what Thelma thinks. I think we misjudged him. He's not evil like we thought. She's just jealous because she can't have me all to herself. She just needs to come to terms with the fact that she's dead and she won't ever get any from me or anyone else.
Entry Seventeen
Dear Diary
It's like I've finally woken up from a very bad dream. I kinda wish I didn't remember. I was aware but I wasn't in control. I treated Thelma so badly. I'm so lucky to have her. She brought me back to myself when she electrocuted me. I would never have thought that I'd be thrilled to be shocked. I suppose a hangover is a small price to pay to be back to myself. I've been a real bitch lately and poor Troy I treated him badly too.
I took off that dreadful necklace. I wish I'd never lain eyes on it. I can't believe I slept with him. I didn't like being tricked. Who does he think he is trying to tell me what I'm feeling? I just wish he'd leave me alone but I'm afraid he won't. He just won't take no for an answer. The sick thing is I almost wanted to give into him which is sheer madness.
Entry Eighteen
Dear Diary
I wish I had food poisoning. That's what I thought it was when I kept throwing up. Pregnancy was the farthest thing from my mind. I've been through a lot lately so I figured my body would be all wonky. I took a test so it's official. That was just one test I was hoping to fail. It was just the one time so why did he have to have super charged sperm invading me and getting me pregnant.
I have to get an abortion. I'm not even sure it would be human. He's not and I'm not up on fallen angels spawn. I hope the dreams go away when I get it done. The sooner the better and maybe then he'll finally leave me alone. I have an appointment in the morning. I'm glad Jo didn't insist she go with me. I'll ask Thelma to come with me. I just want this over and done with.
2005
Entry One
Dear Diary
I simply can't sleep lately. When I do I have the most horrifying dreams. I just want to get some sleep without any dreams. I have my suspicions but it's too horrible to think about. I don't think that doctor performed a termination as I asked. I hate considering this but it would explain things like why Thelma is still around not that I'm not glad she is.
If I had the procedure Thelma wouldn't be here right now. She told me everything and how the rip would be restored if the baby wasn't born. He's like the devil or something so any child fathered by him would be evil. I just wish I could fall asleep and have all that's happened be a nightmare. I need something to help me sleep without dreams or just to stay awake or I'm gonna go made. Actually madness sounds preferable right now.
Dear Diary
Oh great I saw a nephilim. It was absolutely hideous. If I didn't know it was evil I'd feel sorry for it. Next I attacked poor Felix in the kitchen. I'm just on edge and not being able to sleep isn't helping. He didn't run screaming from so I guess I didn't scare him too much when I hit him with the ladle.
Even thought I was tempted to pretend I just had to know once and for all. So I know and now the doctor's dead. I had the misfortune of finding him. I can't help but feel guilty about that. He certainly didn't deserve that. It's official that doctor took my baby and it's likely that Azazeal has him. Why did my life have to become such a horror movie?
Entry Three
Dear Diary
Talk about irony Azazeal's living in a church with the baby. I don't appreciate being told what I want. I just wish he'd leave me alone and take the baby with him. He seems to think we can be one happy family. I don't know what to think. This is sheer madness. It is strange that I never got to see my son when he was really little.
Entry Four
Dear Diary
I wish I'd never gone to that bloody party. People are dropping like flies like me. At least Troy left instead of getting killed. Poor Felix is just the latest. He was sweet and it was just my dreadful luck he was slaughtered by that thing. I really hate this. Things are so the opposite of fine. I tripped is all and damn that thing was ugly. It really needed a breath mint. I thought it was going to kill me too.
Entry Five
Dear Diary
I believe Ella knows what she's talking about but that doesn't mean I have to like it. It's just so damn hard because she's talking about killing a baby. Malachi is a part of me so he can't be all bad. He's spooky but that doesn't mean he can't grow up and do something great. Isn't there a chance he can be saved? I pray I can get through this. This will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.