Entry One
Dear Diary
So much has happened in such a short time. I sometimes feel like this is just a bad dream. There goes that recurring theme again but it's a real nightmare not one that I can just wake up from. But she's gone she's really gone. She told me to be strong but I'm not sure if I can.
I wish that I could pinch myself and wake up. It should have been me not her but she wouldn't let me do it. I miss her so much. Willow fixed the Buffybot so I sort of have Buffy in a way. When I can't sleep I go into the room with her and just lie down beside her. It helps a little but it's just not the same.
Willow and Tara have moved in which helps a lot. Everyone decided to cover up her death. I still can't totally believe it. I expect her to just show up in the living room or something. Dad never even called back so if the truth came out I'd be put like in Foster Care or something since he won't show up. I'd rather be with Willow and Tara.
Entry Two
Dear Diary
Well that went really well which is strange. I guess these people are out of it since a robot totally fooled them but I guess that shouldn't be a surprise in this town. Everyone just loved the Buffybot. It's sort of like still having a sister. I thought they were going to declare a holiday or throw a parade or something. They couldn't even tell that it was a robot. Shows how smart they are or rather how not smart they are.
Cool Spike is coming over tonight. I so don't like having a babysitter but at least he talks to me like an equal instead of a kid. I'm so not a kid especially after everything I've been through. The others still won't let me go out on patrol.
I could so dust a vampire. All I need is something made of wood that has a pointy end. Spike could so give me lessons in the art of slaying. Anya does it so why not me too? She's strange but I guess she's ok for an ex demon. I guess she grows on you after a while and she seems to make Xander happy. I think I'll order a pizza for dinner.
Entry Three
Dear Diary
Buffy's back and it so isn't a dream. I thought I'd lost her forever but she's back in the flesh. Giles came back and I identified my first demon. I even pronounced the name right. That was so strange last week when that demon went inside me and made me breathe fire. Now that would be handy since fire could pretty much kill every demon under the sun or should I say moon.
Buffy didn't get the loan. They should have after she saved the people in the bank from that demon. Ok money was stolen but no one was hurt which is totally more important. Maybe Anya's idea about charging isn't such a crazy idea after all. Maybe those who can afford it can give her a tip or something.
I wonder how things went with Angel. She went to see him since he just found out that she was alive again and I know he was totally devastated about it like the rest of us. That is so sad that they can't ever be together. They really are star crossed lovers with an evil curse keeping them apart forever.
I could maybe earn some money babysitting. There should be a Slayer trust fund since Buffy does save the world and stuff over and over again. Since she came here the death rate has gone down. That deserves something.
Entry Four
Dear Diary
Halloween didn't go as planned. Janice got us hooked up with a couple of vampires. I had no idea since he was so nice and not all vampy except for him going all bumpy. So my first kiss was with a vampire. I ended up giving him the sharp end of a pencil.
So I dusted my first vamp and all on my own. That I'm staying over at Janice's or whoever line won't work again any time soon. Giles did the whole lecture thing. I'm a teen and this is what we do. Doesn't he remember that far back?
Entry Five
Dear Diary
That was so strange the whole singing and dancing thing. I almost had to go to Hell with that well dressed demon to become his Queen just because I put that necklace on. That is so not fair. So Buffy wasn't suffering in some Hell dimension. I don't know how to help Buffy.
Why did everyone assume that she was in Hell anyway? I guess because she jumped and went through that gateway thing. I think that if a person is good they wouldn't go to Hell. Sure she drives me nuts but she's my sister and that's what they do but she doesn't deserve to go to Hell for that. That would make no sense at all.
I'm just glad that the demon left by himself since I wasn't looking forward to a trip to Hell although since it was Xander's fault I guess he would have been going instead although Buffy probably would have wanted to go in his place too. She can really be cool sometimes. Spike was so great when he stopped Buffy from bursting into flames. I couldn't bear losing her again after I just got her back. It will take time but I know things will get better. They just have to.
Entry Six
Dear Diary
It was so strange when we lost all of our memories. Willow did a spell that went wrong and Tara left her because of it. It won't be the same without her. Tara and Willow are so great together. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll get back together. That wasn't very smart to mess with Tara's head like that although her heart was in the right place.
So the house is full of despair and tears. Buffy is still struggling though she tries not to show it when anyone else is around. She's out a lot. I guess sometimes a person needs to be alone. I'm thinking that the memory flooding back had to hit her pretty hard. I don't know what to do about that since I could never understand.
It'll just take time so I'll let her have it and hopefully soon she'll be back to normal. Well today Janice mentioned introducing me to a guy but I'm not so sure considering what happened last time. It'll have to be in daylight so I can make sure he isn't sporting fangs. She wants me to call later with my answer.
Why not I'm sure I can go out since it'll be on a Saturday and in the afternoon which are my terms that I won't back off on. Buffy was pretty cool about the whole lying thing. Giles left which is so bad timing since Buffy needs him now more than ever. But no he flies off to England although it was cool of him to help out with the money sitch so I won't be working in a sweat shop or begging on the street or even living in a cardboard box in some alley.
Entry Seven
Dear Diary
It was nice to hang out with Tara although it turned into a sleepover. Buffy and Willow didn't come back last night either. Tara is so sad and she's worried about Willow and the magick thing. I guess she might have a point since Willow and Amy magicked the town last night.
So everyone's asleep and Tara left. She couldn't leave fast enough after hearing about Willow's night out. So I'm the only one awake so maybe I'll see what Janice is up to since here is Dullsville. Maybe a little shopping to brighten my day. I am running low on lip gloss.
Entry Eight
Dear Diary
Now that was the night from Hell. I thought we were going out for dinner and a movie but no movie at all. Instead she dragged me off to this creepy place and she came out with her eyes all black and scary. She's like a junkie and she could have killed me with the wreck or that ugly demon that came with her fix.
So I have a fracture and a sling. So I do have a souvenir from a night I'd rather forget. So now we have to remove all the temptations like Coco Pelly who I love and even candles. According to Buffy they are like bongs to witches. I am so mad at her since that statue was Mom's. It's like she wants to forget about her or something.
Entry Nine
Dear Diary
I feel like everyone's avoiding me. Is it me? Buffy is always gone doing the slaying or flipping thing. I think she doesn't want to be here. She was so quick to want to turn herself in for that girl's murder. Well the murder turned out to not be Buffy's fault so she's not leaving yet anyway.
She's not really here anyway so she may as well leave. Did she like expect me to jump up and down at the news that she's not leaving? If what Buffy said was true she must love me a lot after all you hurt the ones you love.
I thought things would get better but they haven't. I feel all alone and it's like no one notices. Buffy's birthday is coming up so for at least a little while I'll have some time with her. Would that be such a horrible thing?
Entry Ten
Dear Diary
That was so strange. I made a wish like people tend to do and I got it only not like I thought. Not that I was thinking that it would come true anyway since it was just wishful thinking on my part. The house turned into a prison so no one could leave so Buffy's party turned into a slumber party.
It turns out that the guidance counselor I talked to was a vengeance demon or as she put it a justice demon. Whatever! It did get pretty hairy with that guy getting stabbed and Anya ripping apart my room. So my secret's out. My days of petty crime are over. I'll have to do hard time at the Magic Box.
The one good thing is that Buffy didn't run out of the house like the others did. Well they had to get that guy to the hospital and stuff. At least that guy is still alive but he won't be asking Buffy out like ever. Anya must have been pretty scary when she was a vengeance demon.
Entry Eleven
Dear Diary
I got so busted on the whole stealing thing. It took long enough for anyone to even notice. It's like no one even sees me but I guess they do now. Buffy made me return everything and I'll have to pay for what I can't bring back. At least I didn't get carted off to jail. I'm spending more time with Buffy.
Things seem to be getting better. At least I'm not totally getting ignored like before. So I am only able to go to the pet store since I stole stuff from all the other stores. I really made the rounds. I'll be in debt like forever and I'll have to be indentured to Anya for all eternity.
I didn't realize that I'd stolen so much stuff. I guess it adds up when you've been doing it for a while. I'm a little surprised about Anya letting me work in the shop. She'll be watching me like a hawk and may even search me every time I leave. I won't mention that since I don't want her getting any ideas.
Entry Twelve
Dear Diary
So Riley returns along with a wife. At least this time he said goodbye and didn't call me kid. Things are getting better with the wedding coming up. I so think they'll get a stripper but I'll be over at Janice's. We're going to have a seance which should be cool.
So I'll just leave them to do whatever people do before getting married since it's still a little strained around here. I'm really happy though for Anya and Xander. They are so good together. Well I guess I better get my stuff together and leave before an interrogation begins.
Entry Thirteen
Dear Diary
Well there was no wedding but blood was shed. A demon well one that tried to kill Anya anyway since half the guests were demons. That horned guy was nice. We compared notes on the messedupness of our families. Maybe I'll email him. For the life of me I couldn't even begin to spell or say his name. At least he has an easy email to remember since it's HornedOne@yahoo.com.
Hey maybe that's his name. I'm not sure since we just started talking and I'm not sure if we introduced ourselves. His family is just as much a mess as mine is. Spike came with a total hosebag. So I wore that ugly dress for nothing. I guess they were happy but I guess looks can be deceiving.
Entry Fourteen
Dear Diary
Oh that's just great. Just when I think things are getting better Buffy tries to kill everyone. Sure she was under the influence of a demon but still. She was in a mental institution and mom and dad were there but I wasn't. That really hurt that I didn't even exist in that other reality. She took the antidote so she'll be fine.
She came so close to killing all of us. That doesn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I guess I shouldn't blame her since she was poisoned or whatever by that demon but doesn't that mean the thought crossed her mind? I don't know what to think about it. I mean she did die for me so I should just be glad that things worked out in the end.
Entry Fifteen
Dear Diary
That was so creepy how those nerds have cameras all over and in the shop too. Yikes Spike and Anya doing it and we all get a front row seat. It turns out that my suspicisions were right. I thought there might be something going on and this confirmed it.
So things are pretty messed up right now since Xander's hurt and out for blood. He didn't kill Spike though he wanted to. They should have been happily married. Why can't things ever turn out right? On the bright side Willow and Tara are talking which is a good thing. They so belong together. Some people are just meant to be.
Sure for a while I wasn't that crazy about Anya but she really loves Xander and that's why she's so hurt and had that revenge sex but I am disappointed in Spike. Who knows if they'll ever get back together? This whole Spike thing has made the sitch even worse.
At least Willow got rid of all those cameras. Now that is way creepy to find out that you're being watched like all the time or who knows when and what you're doing. I might have to double check since I just got goosebumps at the thought of that.
Entry Sixteen
Dear Diary
This is so great. I woke up to find Willow and Tara together in the togetherness that Tara spent the night. I am so happy for them. They so belong together and it's about time that things work out for someone. I'm going to spend the night at Janice's.
But first I'll pay Spike a visit to give him a piece of my mind. He supposedly loves Buffy yet he slept with Anya. Sure that makes sense. Not! If you truly love someone you just don't do something like that. Well I'm going to get my stuff together for tonight.
Entry Seventeen
Dear Diary
Now that was intense. The past few days have been a blur. Buffy gets shot and Tara gets killed. So someone else I love died and Buffy almost did again. Willow went totally insane and came close to ending the world. She was so scary. I really thought I could talk to her but that so didn't work. Maybe I should have stayed at the crypt with Clem instead of dragging him all over town.
That was so sweet of him to acknowledge the fact that I'm not a kid. He's a really sweet demon. I'm not sure what kind he is but he's nice although I don't like him playing poker with kittens since that is so not right. Maybe I'll talk to him about that next time I see him.
I fought those dirt things. Well you can learn a lot by watching. Maybe now I can help instead of always being sheltered. At least everyone is in one piece although Giles got pretty banged up. He's going to be fine but lumpy for a while. In fact he took Willow to England to see if she can be helped. I hope she can because she is really screwed up.
My whole shoplifting escapades pales in comparison to this. Things are so strange and Anya has gone all demony again. The other two nerds escaped to who knows where and in my opinion Warren got what he deserved expect for the part where Willow nearly destroyed everything.
I can't believe that I'll never see Tara again or eat her pancakes. This is just too tragic. I am thinking about putting all of us in sleep chambers for the summer since that seems to be the time when those I love die right before the start of summer. That is so odd but it's true.